5 Times Justice League Uses Yahoo Answers
by song six
Summary: Just like normal everyday people, Superheroes need advice in their own personal lives too. Is it unusual or strange for them to ask total strangers online for help? Nah, especially when their problems seem to encircle around their sidekicks. CRACKfic


**Disclaimer:** I do not own 'Young Justice'

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><p>'Five Times Justice League Uses Yahoo!Answers'<p>

by Song Six

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><p>Just like normal everyday people, Superheroes need advice in their own personal lives too. Sometimes, asking your friends and family is <strong>not<strong> the easiest thing to do. So is it unusual or strange for them to ask total strangers online for help just like civilians? Nah, especially when their problems seem to encircle around their side– their partners.

"I don't understand why you guys just don't talk to someone you know," Aquaman criticizes, as he leans back in his chair. The four other men rolled their eyes at him dramatically. **This** is why no one in the League likes Aquaman.

They were sitting at the meeting table in their big floating watch tower in space enjoying a team meal. The rest of the league was there at first, but dinner went on, many of them already left to their own duties leaving the five mentors to get into discussion.

"Seriously, you have no idea what some of us have to deal with…" Flash groaned massaging his temples.

"Yeah, you have no idea what Barry has to deal with." They are stared at Superman amused, minus Flash of course who crossed his arms in offense.

"What's that suppo–"

Batman interrupted him quickly, "you work with Kid Flash. You should know what that means." Flash opened his mouth to argue, but closed it seeing they were right. Every one of their partners was handfuls, but his was a _speedster_. And having the powers of his kind pretty much messed with your hormones, and teenagers were already a hassle from puberty to begin with!

Aquaman openly yawned before scratching his chin and thinking, "I don't know Bruce, your Robin seems to be a bit of a troublemaker as well."

Both Green Arrow and Flash had to stifle a snicker as Batman glared hard, and Aquaman just sat there blissfully unaware. Superman glanced at each of them nervously trying to think of something to save Aquaman's sorry ass.

"Um, what he means is, Robin has developed interesting…habits over the years." Superman smiled sheepishly at him, but Batman said nothing. He was not happy. Not happy one bit.

Flash ran over and placed a hand on his shoulder, which he quickly slapped off, grinning, "At least yours still thinks of you as a partner!"

Green Arrow flinched in his seat before shaking his head and banging it on the table softly, "_That _is the least of my problems right now."

Each of them raised a curious brow at him before it was finally Aquaman who spoke up and asked, "what do you mean?"

"He's dating my new _protégé_." He sighed

"What's the problem with that?" Superman asked seeing he was being overly dramatic

Green Arrow looked like he wanted to say something, but thought it wiser to keep his mouth shut about it, "trust me, you have no idea."

"To change paces here, hey Clark, how's it going with raising the boy now?" Flash asks hoping to take the attention off their poor miserable friend. He knew the pains of having his teenage _boy _lackey having a girlfriend, much less a boyfriend, so he felt for the guy. He truly did.

Batman looked at him with a careful eye ready to attack if he did not like his answer. Superman smiled at him reassuringly. He has actually been closer to Conner now that the boy is living in his flat with him in metropolis. Sometimes the kid spends his days at the old farm. Although, there had been _some_ strange issues. But those, those he was definitely not sharing with these guys.

"It's been great!" he gives them a white sparkly smile and nothing else.

"So what is this 'help' site you guys go on anyway?" Aquaman asks with a bit of mock in his tone. The four other men grumbled to themselves about how the man should not be so full of himself. That Kaldur couldn't be _that_ perfect.

Flash volunteers to answer, "You ask a question. People answer. You pick the best answer. Easy at that."

"And it's all anonymous? Because you know, superhero deal?"

"We just refer to them as our 'sons' and it's all good." Green Arrow answers

"So what have you guys been asking?"

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**B4ublink Asks: ****Teen son pooping?**

**.**

**B4ublink: **Why does it seem to take longer to poop when you become a teenager, especially guys? Why does it seem like you poop more times a day? Say you only went once a day - then, when become a teen guy, it's more like three to four times a day. Why? What is it that makes my son do this?

**Jessica C: **Have you tried taking your son to see a doc? 3-4 times a day is not normal.

**Older Guy: **it's pure physics. Teen males start eating more because they're growing and naturally, they poop more...so what?

**Scotty Gecko: **He's punching the clown, slapping the salami, flogging the dolphin, etc., etc. He should be doing it in his room instead of hogging the bathroom, though.

"Way to be Kid, way to be!" Aquaman hooted as Flash blushed a shade that matched his suit.

"Thankyou. Wally."

Superman hung his head in shame feeling a sense of empathy, "Cut him some slack, it could be worse…"

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**SuperCountryBum Asks: I think my son is literally in love with his alarm clock?**

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**SuperCountryBum: **He wakes up in the morning and stares at it. Then kisses it before he goes to school and calls it 'Honey'! Any personal experiences or issues people have that relate to this?

**Asian Ego: **Maybe he is imagining it's a girl he likes since he can't actually wake up and kiss her in the morning?

**Daniel: **lol maybe it's just a stage he's goin through :}

**Artyficial:** Dude needs a girlfriend.

Flash looked at him thoughtfully, "Does he ever call J'ohn's niece honey?"

"Seriously Clark? That's it?" Batman bites in annoyance, "You have it pretty easy. Try dealing with Robin _and_ the problems he's been having with one of my new partners."

"Oh yeah? Try me Bruce."

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**I_Am_TheNight Asks: Teen son likes to wear sister's panties what should I do?**

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**I_Am_TheNight:** He likes to steal Stephanie's sparkly panties, because when he was younger he had once adorned sequined undergarments himself. He has seemed to become attached to the idea. What do I do?

**Sammy: **Talk to him and if he wants to "change" don't be judgmental even if you do not agree with it just be there for him

**JohnnyB1: **Beat the gay out of him. That's what the Pilgrims did. Happy Thanksgiving!

**Jay: **He's turning into a drag queen for god sakes, take the women's clothes away from him. What the hell does his dad do about this? If you don't want your son turning gay, you can do 2 things. One beat the gay out of him or bring him into the woods to survive for a week he will come back a man.

"Oh man! So did you 'beat the gay out of him' Bruce?" Aquaman was now doubling over in laughing, and Batman was just about to go pummel him when Superman stops him in time giving a warning face.

Batman huffed sitting back down, "You will be a dead man next time Clark isn't here." Aquaman grinned at him widely.

"Poor Wally, I hope you didn't. He likes your boy." There was complete silence as they all stared at the red clad man dumbfounded. He scratched his head nervously not sure what he had said wrong. They then turned their attention to Batman to see his reaction.

"Does he really?"

"Uh…yeah. Team doesn't know yet though."

A dark aura radiated off of Batman as he glared at the speedster, "Keep that boy away from Robin or so help me."

"You guys are hilarious; you've really made my night." Green Arrow was fed up with Aquaman. He finally just took him by the collar and picked him up…

"_You have no idea how bad it really is,"_ he seethed in between his seethe. Aquaman squirmed in fright, and both Flash and Batman chose to just watch not wanting to help him. However, it was Superman who calmed Green Arrow down and got him to release the king.

"Come on Oliver, what's wrong? It's alright to tell us," he assured giving the man's shoulder a squeeze. Green Arrow looked at him skeptically before sighing in defeat.

"Well…"

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**ArcherQueen Asks: My teen son's girlfriend is sending me nude pics of herself. I have asked her to stop but she refuses.?**

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**ArcherQueen: **The girl looks amazing, but I am trying to take the high road. I don't want to hurt this 15 year old kid. Or my son, but what do i do now?

**Miss Behave:** YOU PERVERT! She is a minor! And that's your son! Tell her to stop, or you'll tell your son. I think you should tell him anyways. Do you not realize this girl is trying to hurt your son by sending YOU pictures?

**LunaF:** This girl sounds like a serious slut...and you should`ve stopped her the first time...You should not even allow her to be around your son.

**JoshhhFs:** Why is she sending them to you? Maybe she thinks It's your son. Honestly, I wouldn't want my son to be near a girl like that but that's totally up to you. Pictures would help though :D

**Chris B:** let the dude get some pu-tang jeez =]

"Yeah Ollie, get your pu–OOAF!" Aquaman never even got the chance to finish his sentence as Green Arrow elbowed him in the gut. Not even Superman did anything about it.

Aquaman rubbed his stomach affectionately before giving the archer a dirty look, "take a joke sometime Queen!"

Before Green Arrow even argued back Batman stepped in, "Aquaman. We are aware you see your own partner…in great respect but–"

"Doesn't he ever do anything weird you wished you could do something about?" Flash interrupts

Aquaman opened his mouth. Then closed it. Then opened it again. Finally, he had come to his own conclusion in his head.

Later that night…

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**TheLittleMerman Asks: My teenage son sometimes shows homosexual body language to me?**

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**TheLittleMerman: **This becomes a barrier in communication- I am not homo and I don't want him to be like that- What to do? At present, I decided to stay away for some time so he can recover from these morbid acts.

**ArcherQueen:** beat the gay out of him :D

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Sorry for the crack, sometimes I go to Yahoo!Answers to get advice and then I just saw one silly question. Then it lead to me searching a bunch of silly questions I thought was funny with funny answers especially if it were our favorite Super Power mentors asking them. Basically, all these questions came straight off the website. The _only_ modified question was Batman's. And all the answers are legitimate as well with a few spelling corrections here and there, but not completely to keep effect.

Review and lemme know what you thought!

And if you have time check out my new oneshot 'Tears of Justice'. If you read this author's note I think you'll enjoy it.


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